Unfinished Thesis

Oh, yes. I'm part of that group that doesn't finish their thesis. The only difference I've got among these people is that I can't finish it because I feel completely nervous and anxious of doing it wrong that I can't seem to do it. It might seem a little absurd if you think about it …

Morning Bliss

After many weeks feeling down and worthless, this week I've been feeling great and useful. I haven't accomplished all I wanted to do, but at least I'm doing normal life as a normal person. This makes me incredibly happy. For instance, I've been waking up very early (before 7 am) and taking advantage of the …

Family Ties

Weeks ago, my therapist put me off medications. Nevertheless, he did advised me that, if I ever felt that I needed to take the pills again, if I was about to get a crisis, I should take them again. During these past weeks I was feeling really down, slept  more than I should during the …

Birthday Blues

Today is my birthday. Yesterday I felt so excited about today, about being celebrated, about my friends and family asking me to be with me today. But that was yesterday. I'm crying right now. I felt uneasy, and I thought I was going to be better. I just now received messages from my friends and …

Down the Rabbit Hole.

Today I woke up with heavy headache. As it was ebbing, I drank some coffee and had breakfast with my family. After that, I went to lie down for a little bit. It's almost 5 p.m. and I'm still in bed. Today I wanted to do so many things, to change my life, to live …

Never ending.

I was supposed to write an entry per day, at least one a month; but I failed. On November my therapist considered I was well enough to stop my medications. I was completely thrilled. I was "cured". I knew depression would always be with me, but at least I could feel normal again. Nevertheless, my …

Bad people.

Today's entry is not about me, it's about my brother. He is a doctor. He studied really hard for many years and finally got into his specialization program. In my country, a way of filtering doctors is by being really tough with them. Nevertheless, every now and then you hear stories about doctors who just …

Drinking Games

Yesterday I found myself in a very awkward position. My best friend since childhood had some friends over. We have not been in touch for a while, so I went to her house to share with her and her new crew. One of her friends, a self-proclaimed alcoholic, started this driking game with cards. This …

Midnight Thoughts.

Lately I've been very happy. I accomplished many of the items on my to do list and I've been concocting a new plan for my future. Everything seems promising and exciting. As a result, I decided to dance on my own. It helps me exercise and cheers me up almost immediately. Except this time. I …

Family.

Today I had so many plans that just didn't happen. I had energy to do so many things, getting over certain family issues, when my uncle called me early in the morning, waking me up. "Call your grandmother." It was all he said. I got scared, she's over 80 years old, lives alone by choice …