Weeks ago, my therapist put me off medications. Nevertheless, he did advised me that, if I ever felt that I needed to take the pills again, if I was about to get a crisis, I should take them again. During these past weeks I was feeling really down, slept more than I should during the morning and afternoon, felt anxious, had insomnia almost every night, was thinking about all my past mistakes and feeling worthless as a result, and so on. Since I could foretell a crisis coming over me, last Thursday I started taking my pills again.
That same day, because coincidence does not wait for me to get better, my family found out that my brother had quit his medical residence. I explained everything that happened (or sort of) in one post before this one. You see, almost all my cousins married doctors, so they all feel this weird pride for having doctors, and over-praise them. Especially one of them, my youngest cousin’s wife. She found out what happened to my brother and told my family about it, praising herself while doing it, saying she had “endured everything thrown at her and never quit”, without actually knowing what had happened to him. Nevertheless, what hurt me most was that my uncle, my mother’s brother, started talking about how she was so intelligent, strong, and how she never quit, and how others were weak and couldn’t endure what she had done so effortlessly. He never told us this directly, he told this to my grandmother the day after they found out about my brother’s resignation.
I can’t describe you how heartbroken I felt. Fortunately, my brother doesn’t know this, but if he finds out he will be disheartened. All of this had me wondering, Isn’t family suppose to support each other? Shouldn’t my uncle have asked my mother or my brother what had happened instead of issuing a hurtful remark? Why do they need to put others down to feel better?
I realized they aren’t family. They’re just people with whom we share dna. That’s all. They have done so many hurtful things that we let go because they are “family”, but I can’t let this pass. I guess, for now, my family has been reduced. I really pray and hope for my brother to get his specialization without further problems and to be able to do what he wants to do. Since these people don’t want the same, they are not welcomed.
Things I am grateful for:
– Knowing who my family are.