Just a single word to introduce myself and to prepare myself before talking to you about one of the scariest monsters I’ve ever fought in my entire life: depression.
I think I should clarify something. Even though I feel much better now, depression is not something you can get rid off just by wishing it or by turning it on and off like a light switch. It’s a disease. I’m medicated right now and it helps me tons, but in the end, it’s my own will and strength that will get me through my “heavy days” (let’s call them that way). And therapy, of course. My therapist has been helping me to discover all the signs that are already there that will lead me to get on my feet on my own.
So, after all these previous words, let me tell you what this blog will be about. This is meant to be a diary about my daily (hopefully) struggle with my disease. Some days it will be all about sun shines and unicorns, but some days won’t be as bright as I would like them to be. Nevertheless, I would like end every entry by writing positive situations or just things I am grateful for in my day. I still believe there must be something good in everything and everyone (maybe that’s the root of my depression), so there will be definitely something good to talk about at the end of the day. I hope it helps me as well as other persons who are struggling just like I do or know someone who does.
Here we go with the first entry. It will be a short one. My morning was somewhat difficult. I couldn’t wake up due to a cold pill and a migraine. After a while, my cat bit me so many times that I HAD to wake up. I started immediately worrying about my thesis that is already due and I haven’t asked about an extension and the fact that I’m about to leave the company I work with some friends as partners. It was a tough decision, but it was hurting me so much that I started to despise my friends a little bit because I felt so alone and under appreciated. It won’t be happening today, but hopefully tomorrow.
Then I went to one of my jobs at a high school. I’m helping the theatre director as her assistant for the awesome kids that study there. I love this job. I’m learning so much from her, let’s call her Jay, and from the kids who really great and are flourishing more everyday. Now I’m back home, gathering all the strength that I can to ask for an extension for my thesis. It’s an online university, a really good one, but I’m not that much of a good friend with technology, so I’m somewhat afraid (please read “completely terrified”) of losing this opportunity. Let’s hope I’m on time. Send me good vibes, or pray for me if you believe in God, to have a good outcome from my thesis director and the university.
Today I’m thankful for:
Having someone like Jay in my life who gave me the opportunity to learn each day more and more.
My loving mom and my cat. My cat has her own way to show me love, I know.